the universe and its seemingly infinite dislike of Lorcan Scamander
by Anrheithwyr
Summary: Lorcan paused on the top step of his third-storey apartment building, sighing with frustration and lifting a hand to feel the rain that had only begun to fall the second he stepped out his front door, like the sky itself was trying to mock him. Most likely the sky was trying to mock him, Lorcan thought to himself as he contemplated turning back for an umbrella.


_"Old friends, like old swords, still are trusted best."- John Webster_

…

Lorcan paused on the top step of his third-storey apartment building, sighing with frustration and lifting a hand to feel the rain that had only begun to fall the second he stepped out his front door, like the sky itself was trying to mock him.

Most likely the sky _was _trying to mock him, Lorcan thought to himself as he contemplated turning back for an umbrella and whether or not it was a better option than simply just casting a quick little _Impervius,_ and any pesky Muggles who happened to be watching be damned.

He knew that everyone was always telling him not to take everything so seriously and that the universe had nothing against him, not personally anyway, but Lorcan was convinced that the universe had it out for him and was doing its best to ruin his life.

Deciding _against _risking any possible infringement from the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, and with a thoughtful expression on his face, Lorcan wandered back into his apartment, trying to remember where he had possibly put his umbrella.

(In retrospect, he probably would have been better off just risking being picked up by Aurors, considering what was waiting for him inside his apartment.)

"Hello, brother," said a quiet voice as Lorcan unlocked his front door, and he saw, leaning against his kitchen counter and tossing an apple from hand to hand, was his younger twin brother, Lysander, who had been travelling up and down the coast of Australia the last time Lorcan had had any contact from his slightly mad twin.

It had, in all honesty, been verging on four months since the two last spoke to each other, having not bothered to exchange owls or even Floo-call the other to make sure everything was fine, not after the first few months of Lysander's trip.

And Lysander _had _said he would be in an area where cell phones were rare and service was nearly non-existent, so Lorcan simply just hadn't bothered with maintaining contact with his brother, sure that nothing would go wrong, an idea he still carried from his teenage years, when everyone believes they are at least a _little _bit immortal.

Though Lysander was only now going on twenty-two, and though he was a slightly differed picture of his brother Lorcan, it seemed that the younger of the two Scamander twins had aged ten years in the last six months since he had left for Australia.

Lysander threw the apple into the air, reaching out to catch it again, but the shiny red fruit slipped from his hands and bounced across the kitchen floor, tumbling out of sight underneath the table; both brothers watched as it disappeared, not speaking.

"Ah, well, you know what they say, _practice makes perfect_, right brother? And we should know about practice, right brother?" Lysander flashed his twin a cheeky grin, which only made Lorcan roll his eyes and wonder why _today of all days_, his brother had bothered to come back.

After all, hadn't life just seemed so much easier without his brother around? Merlin, Lor felt badly for even thinking it, but it was so obvious that Ly only brought around trouble and feelings of discomfort, because he knew how to play off of people's emotions and how to make them feel like he was reading their very mind.

And Lysander was a bit of a dramatic whiner; Lorcan still had vivid memories of his brother waking him up early in the morning to fly broomsticks or toss cauldrons off the roof.

Lorcan had been _enjoying _his six months away from his brother, and had even begun seeing a girl in that time, confident that she wouldn't be run off by her brother's stiff nature and weird habits, but now that his brother had returned?

Now that Lysander was back, things were going to be the same way they always had been, with Lorcan baby-sitting his possibly mentally disturbed little brother, keeping him in line and making sure that things didn't get too out of hand.

_Isn't the universe just a bitch_? Lorcan thought to himself, scowling as he offered his brother a seat, wishing that this was only a temporary situation and his brother would be gone by morning; life would be easier for them all if Lysander was gone by morning.

"Sorry I missed Elianne's birthday…and Dad's...and Mummy's…_whoops_," Lysander grinned at his brother once more, unaware of the tears that their fourteen year old sister had cried when she found out that her favourite brother was _still _gone.

But wasn't that just how it always went with Lysander? He did what he wanted with no concern to anyone else, only stumbling through the world with his own self-interest in mind, not even giving a flying fuck when it came to who he might have hurt.

"Mhmm," Lorcan said, handing his brother one of the lukewarm bottles of water he had just lying around the apartment, his hands shaking as he did his best to avoid smacking Lysander across his face, knowing his brother, mostly, didn't mean to be insensitive.

"Hey, you know what we should do?" Lysander asked, eyes lighting up and Lorcan sighed, knowing that the next words out of his brother's mouth would probably be something stupid or illegal, or both, because it always was. "We should Apparate to Paris and climb the Eiffel Tower again. Remember when we did that after we graduated from Hogwarts? Man, the Muggles were _so _fucking confused. Wasn't that just hilarious?"

"We got thrown in jail for _four _days until Mum could come get us," Lorcan reminded his twin through gritted teeth, wanting to knock some sense into the blonde, who was only giving Lorcan a dopey grin, already tuned out from what Lorcan was saying.

"Do you think Mummy would mind if we just grabbed Elianne from school and went on a quick adventure? We could go to America this time, since we've never actually _been _there before. Mummy always thought it wasn't very _exciting_, but I bet we could get into a lot of fun together."

Lysander stood up suddenly, skipping happily over the fireplace, looking at Lorcan expectantly, like he _honestly _thought they were about to Floo over to Hogwarts and temporarily kidnap their kid sister only to illegally enter America, a place Lorcan had _no _intention of going.

"Come on, Lor! It'll be fun, don't you think, almost like old times when we were kids? Travelling the world and getting into fist fights with random strangers?" Lysander was like a puppy with his enthusiasm, and all Lorcan wanted to do was kick him.

"Can you just _leave me alone _for once?" he wanted to yell at his twin. "Can't you just realise that the rest of us aren't psychologically dependent on one another? Can't you just fucking _use your goddamn brain for once_?"

Instead, he only smiled and nodded and allowed his brother to write a quick note to their mother, explaining what they wanted to do with their sister while abroad, even though she _really _should just stay in school and finish her exams.

Because Lorcan couldn't say no, and the universe seemed insistent that he only be around to serve his brother's needs and seemingly random demands.

And he had heard it once said that old friends, like old swords, were trusted the best; Lysander was an old friend, but Lorcan didn't trust his brother any more than he trusted a rusty sword or a snapped wand, because his brother was nuts and Lorcan only encouraged him.


End file.
